Esquire, April 2008

Vocabulary

Memento Mori: a Latin phrase that roughly translates into "Remember you will die," which can be used to cut the boastful down to size or place one's own life into elegant perspective.

Supernatural selection: the belief that humans have divine sovereignty over the creatures of the earth, and there's no way we could be related to them.

Books

Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far by graphic designer Stefan Sagmeister.

The thing about life is that one day you'll be dead by David Shields. A clear-eyed look at the ways in which we come undone.

Things To Ask Your Barber

How's the family?
If you had my hair, what would it look like?
If you had my hair, what should I have for dinner tonight?
When's the last time you changed the Barbicide?
A riddle: if you say my name, I disappear: What am I?
Whatever happened to mousse?
You promise this'll make women like me?
Aren't sideburns supposed to be even?
Tike or Ronde?
You mind if I read this magazine?

Rule No. 548: Beware the third thing - sequel, helping, drink, wife

Frida Giannini's Rules, the creative director of Gucci.
The first thing I notice about a man are his shoes.
Then I look at his watch.
The most iconic figures - Jean-Paul Belmondo, Steve McQueen, James Dean - were all rebels. Without a strong personality, you can have the most beautiful clothes in the world and you will never look right.
Sexiness is a very subjective thing. A man can be just as sexy in a buttoned-up suit as he can be in jeans and t-shirt.
I would love American men to embrace a narrower silhouette in suits and coats. It's way more sexy for a man to wear closer-fitting clothes.

Why does this shoe (JM Weston) cost $900?
1. The shape: the eight-week process of hand-crafting a pair of JM Weston shoes begins with the last-maker. This guy - and it's almost always a guy - has trained for decades and can optimize the balance between form and fit.
2. The leather: cheaper shoes are made from scuffed-up hides that have been treated, but Weston uses only unmarked, untreated leather. The shoes are softer and more supple because of it.
3. The stitching: craftsmen stitch together the shoe's various pieces using both machine and hand sewing, resulting in a construction that lasts longer than anything mass-produced.
4. The lining: inexpensive shoes don't have linings; the best ones, like these, have soft calfskin that's gentle on your foot.
5. The heel: this beveled heel contains thick layers of leather that form a supportive base for the foot.

A Few Final Thoughts On Leather
It always looks better polished.
Leave the wearing of leather pants to our good friends in Menudo.
"You're with me, leather," even when said in jest, isn't as funny as you think it is.
The deadlier the animal, the more expensive the leather.
Shoes: shine once a week. Leather jackets: condition once a year. Everything else: as needed.
Animal-rights advocates are the angriest protesters.
"Pleather", "Naugahyde", and "faux leather": no.
Avoid web sites and publications that showcase leather. Except this one.

www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com
other quizzes: http://www.oneplusyou.com/q

Music Awards
Best Live Band: Kings of Leon
Best Second Act: Sharon Jones
Most Likely To Get Kicked In The Teeth By Backlash: Ghostland Observatory
Most Prescient Reunion Warm-Up: Ronnaroo's John Paul Jones, Ben Harper, and ?uestlove Superjam
Best Instrumentalists: Explosions in the sky
Best Soundtrack: Once, featuring Marketa Inglova and Glen Hansard
Rookies of the Year: Vampire Weekend
Terrifying Woman of the Year: Miranda Lambert
Best Male Voice: Mark Lanegan
Most Misunderstand Band: Against Me!
Best Female Voice: Tift Merritt
Best Hero: Slash
Best Interpreter: Cat Power
Best Third Wheel: T Bone Burnett
Best Roots-Rock Band That Deserves Better Than To Be Called Roots Rock: Marah
Best Storytellers: Drive-By Truckers
Best Moralists: The Avett Brothers
Soaring Verse Award: Band of Horses
Best Young Guy With an Ancient Voice: Ryan Bingham
Best None of the Above: Calexico
Best Opus: Terence Blanchard
Club of the Year: Slowdown
Sweater-Vested Musican of the Year: Sam Beam

Sleep Better: Easy things that will help you fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything

The Otis Bed Haley 150 Futon

Alarm clocks: iHome iH9, Sonic boom, Clocky, Hammacher Schlemmer Peaceful Progression alarm, Hammacher Schlemmer projection alarm

Alternative to sheep-counting
i) choose a color
ii) brainstorm a whole bunch of objects that are that color
iii) brainstorm through categories: foods, animals, phrases, etc.

Random insomnia knowledge:
-it might make you fat because it lowers levels of leptin, a hormone that tells the body when it's had enough to eat, and raises levels of ghrelin, which stimulates you to eat more.
-it's bad for your heart because it raises cytokines, proteins that active immune responses. They're great when you need them, but when you don't, they can become a source of inflammation associated with heart disease.
-it's bad for your immune system because it saps white blood cells, crucial blockers of infections and cancer.
-it's bad for your memory because it elevates cortisol levels which can damage the hippocampus, the part of the brain that helps create new memories.

Advanced sleep hygiene: your new nightly routine
-dim the lights an hour before bedtime. This mimics sunset. Smack in the middle of your brain is the pineal gland. It releases melatonin, the hormone that readies the mind and body for sleep in response to lowered light levels.
-if you've got things on your mind, write them down fifteen minutes before bed. This sweeps them out of your mind.
-if you're still awake after fifteen minutes, get up and do something quiet, like reading a book. No Internet, no TV, no exercise. You have to let your body and mind slow down to be able to slip into sleep. If you just lie there thinking about how you're not sleeping, you'll never sleep.
-wake up at the same time every day. An hour extra on weekends is fine, but if you wake up at seven every morning during the week, then sleep until 10 on weekends, you're effectively giving yourself jet lag. Monday morning, you'll feel like you just got off the red-eye from three time zones away.
-a little chemical help once in a while is fine. Not alcohol - it actually interferes with the normal sleep cycle. But Benadryl or one of the combination OTC painkillers or sleep drugs can give you that little nudge into natural sleep.
-sex.

Four sheets
-Egyptian Cotton: considered the best because it's made from the long, soft fibers grown along the Nile. Try Sferra Celeste.
-Pima Cotton: worth considering because it's made from the same plant in Egypt, but in California and the Southwest. Try Thomas Lee.
-Flannel: you enjoyed it in college because it's cotton that's been brushed, leaving only the softest fibers. Great for sleeping naked. Try LL Bean Ultrasoft flannel.
-Silk: becuase on the right night with the right music and the right woman, sliding around on these is wonderful. Try Kumi Kookoon Classic.

One blanket: Under The Nile Cotton Blanket, the thickest, creamiest blanket.

Sleep knowledge:
-Before Thomas Edison's invention of the lightbulb, people slept an average of 10 hours per night. Today, Americans average 6.9 hours of sleep on weeknights and 7.5 hours on weekends.
-Men are twice as likely as women to sleep in the nude (31% of men and 14% of women).
-42% of dog owners share their beds with their dogs.
-65-68 degrees is considered the ideal temperature range for sleeping.
-54% of people who suffer at least one symptom of insomnia a few nights a week.
-12 million people are affected by sleep apnea, a breathing disorder characterized by brief interruptions of breathing during sleep.
-60% of Americans said they had driven while feeling drowsy in the past year. 37% actually dozed off while driving.
-Ducks sleep with one eye open.

New York Restaurants

Lever House, Lure Fishbar and Chinatown Brasserie, owner: John McDonald
-eats at Keens Steakhouse
-The best way to order at a new restaurant? "I usually ask the waiter what the most popular dish is."

Park Avenue Spring and Quality Meats, executive chef: Craig Koketsu
-eats at Casa
-"There tends to be a little more thought and deliberation over an item that's on the regular menu."

Degustation, executive chef: Wesley Genovart
-eats at Soba-ya

San Domenico, wine director: Piero Trotta
-eats at Buddha Bar
-"I always ask the sommelier or wine director what he thinks is good with the food that he serves."
-"If someone doesn't like their wine, they should ask for the person in charge of wines and point out that they don't like it. When I'm put in that position, I tell the customer, "If this is not what you're looking for, I'll try to understand what you're looking for.""

Le Bernardin, maitre d': Ben Chekroun
-eats at BLT Steak
-"A ten-minute wait is a great time to unwind at the bar and have a drink. I don't feel like that's a negative thing. Now, if ten minutes turns into an hour, then, of course, it becomes a problem."
-"I think twenty minutes is a good time to ask questions."

Anthos, executive chef and co-owner: Michael Psilakis
-eats at Insieme

Pastis, maitre d': Chris Session
-eats at Uncle Nick's
-thirty minutes is too long to wait

Allen & Delancey, executive chef: Neil Ferguson
-eats at Blue Hill